How to date and find the right mate

How to date and find the right mate Posted: 03 Feb 2013 10:14 AM PST A question we often hear is, how do I know when I’m really in love. God has given us his word, so we won’t be confused when searching for the mate who will stand with us, for better or worse, until parted by death. With divorce at an all time high, we need godly wisdom more than ever in choosing the perfect love for us. The Bible says…There is no fear in love: but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love. 1 John 4:18 A person who truly loves you, will not force or pressure you to do things outside of God’s will. You will not be afraid of losing their love because you are not performing up to their expectations. A perfect love will not force or ask you to have premarital sex with them, because they fear God and want God’s blessing to be upon your relationship and future. A perfect love will allow you to make mistakes and be forgiving, loving, and merciful. They will not expect you to be perfect, because no one is perfect except God and his son, Jesus Christ. In 1 Corinthians 13, the Apostle Paul gives us an outline to see if we are walking in love or if a person we are considering marrying is a love that will last a lifetime. Vs. 4 states…Love suffers and is kind. Is the person you think you’re in love with, the kind of person who will love you even when you’re sick, disabled, go bald, get fat, lose your job, do something really stupid, smash the car, or forget their birthday? Are they kind and compassionate to you, their siblings, friends, and parents? Love does not envy, brag, or puff themselves up. They find the best in others and encourage you to follow your heart and dreams. Love is not a competition…but each person must compliment and encourage one another daily. Love does not behave rudely, is not easily provoked, and does not think or say evil about others. Do you or the person you’re dating interrupt others when they are speaking, or throw a fit when things don’t go your way? Are you continually negative and critical of others, but expect others to overlook your flaws? Are you willing to speak the truth in love, or do you feel like you’re always walking on egg shells when you’re around the person you’re considering marrying? Love bears all things, believes the best in others, and has hope in God for a bright and promising future. Is the person you’re dating a positive person, and one who believes that God works all things out for good. God warns us not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers. This is vitally important in choosing a mate for life…because a godly person will take their vows seriously. Divorce will not ever come up in the conversation or be considered as an option. A godly woman will willingly submit to the authority of her husband and do everything in her power to be a loving helpmate for him. She honors him and treats him with respect because she loves God and is submissive to his word. Ephesians 5:22-24 says…Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church… Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. When there is a disagreement, a godly couple will submit to one another in love, and pray for wisdom from God on how to handle each situation. They will search the scriptures on how to handle conflict, money matters, parenting, and all aspects of their marriage. God’s word says…Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it… So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. Ephesians 5:25, 28 Ladies, before you say I do…ask yourself…Am I willing to submit to the authority of this man for the rest of my life? Does he love and cherish me as Christ loved the church? Does he treat me and my body with the same respect he treats himself? Is he a man who will sacrifice his time, money, and life for me and our family? God tells us…Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD. Proverbs 18:22 In today’s society the world would like us to believe that it’s just fine to live together… but a man who will commit to a woman for life in marriage obtains favor from the LORD. Husbands, dwell with them,(your wife) according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life: that your prayers be not hindered. 1 Peter 3:7 God created men and women different. God gives men knowledge to treat their wives as a weaker vessel and with respect, so your prayers will not be hindered. If you don’t treat your wife right, it will block your prayers, favor, and fellowship with God. Searching for the perfect love is something that should not be taken lightly. We should prayerfully ask God for wisdom and never rush into marriage too quickly. Beloved your heavenly Father loves you and wants the best for your life. Spend time in his word and ask him to be involved in your dating life and future. Never settle for second best, just because you’re lonely or want to escape a troubled family situation at home. Marriage is the second most important decision you will make…after your decision to make Jesus your LORD and Saviour. God lovingly sacrificed his son for our sins, and wants you to experience a true and lasting love. He created marriage and only he can enable you to have a marriage that will last a lifetime. Beloved, if God so loved us, we ought also to love one another. 1 John 4:11 God created marriage, For he knew we’d need a friend. To share our hopes and dreams with. And love us ’till the end. God created marriage, To teach us how to share. All our earthly assets, and make us more aware… That someone else’s feelings, Are more important than our own. And none of us is perfect, So we can’t cast a stone. God created marriage, To teach us to forgive. His life was our example, He showed us how to give. God created marriage, To teach us how to say… “I love you” to another person, Each and every day. And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. Genesis 2:18 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; and they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. Mark 10:7-9 Your sister and servant of the LORD Jesus, Valerie Rousseau