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My Happy Ending Part 1
My Happy Ending Part 1
Today is
my first day at school in Burbank, Illinois. I miss my friends back in
Carolina, but the people at this school seem nice. Then again, a lot of people
seem nice before you meet them. I met this boy today and his name is Jake. He’s
really cute and kind. He walked me to all my classes, even the ones on the
opposite end of the school from where he was supposed to be.
After
that day, he missed a week of school.
When he
got back, he walked me to my classes again. I told him how much I really
appreciated it. He was the only one who even tried to befriend me. After a week
of walking me to my classes, Jake finally asked me out. I am a Christian and
only hang around fellow Christians who are people that will be saved by God.
Hence, I asked him if he’s Christian and luckily, he said yes.
“How long have you been a Christian?”
“A few years…” He replied slowly.
That was when he changed the subject.
“How long have you been a Christian?”
“A few years…” He replied slowly.
That was when he changed the subject.
The date
was amazing and everything went right.
He
continued to walk me to my classes everyday for months. We went out together
more than twice every week. We held hands but there was nothing more. He knew
that, for me, even kissing a guy is a big step and I need to be really serious
with a guy before we can take that step.
We were
together for two years when he came up to me with his hands behind his back.
“Hey! Guess what I made it to the tennis team.” I told him.
“That’s great!” He gave me a huge hug.
“Let’s go celebrate!” He pulled out two tickets from behind him.
“For real? Oh my goodness! The basement! Are you serious?!”
The basement was a big Christian group that tours and performs at different places. They preach, dance and do all kind of cool stuff. Jake knew how much I love them and how much I had wanted to go to their concert together ever since we first met.
“Hey! Guess what I made it to the tennis team.” I told him.
“That’s great!” He gave me a huge hug.
“Let’s go celebrate!” He pulled out two tickets from behind him.
“For real? Oh my goodness! The basement! Are you serious?!”
The basement was a big Christian group that tours and performs at different places. They preach, dance and do all kind of cool stuff. Jake knew how much I love them and how much I had wanted to go to their concert together ever since we first met.
After the
concert, Jake grabbed my hand and led me somewhere I’d never been before.
“What are we doing here?” I asked.
He had a weird look on his face and I got worried.
“I love you, Grace.”
“I-I… love you too, but why…”
“You mean it?”
There was a long pause while I tried to figure out what was he trying to ask. What was going on with him?
“Of course I mean it.” I replied.
“Then kiss me.”
I was hoping he would say that but I was still really confused. I kissed him anyway. It was my first kiss.
“I love you, Grace.” He said again
“You said that already.”
“I know, because I really… I love you, Grace.” He whispered slowly as if he didn’t know what else to say.
“Is there anything you want to tell me?”
I wanted to have some clue on what was happening. My head was still spinning from the kiss. He shook his head. I didn’t understand it at all. All I knew was that at that moment right there, I realized how much Jake truly loved me… Or so I thought.
“What are we doing here?” I asked.
He had a weird look on his face and I got worried.
“I love you, Grace.”
“I-I… love you too, but why…”
“You mean it?”
There was a long pause while I tried to figure out what was he trying to ask. What was going on with him?
“Of course I mean it.” I replied.
“Then kiss me.”
I was hoping he would say that but I was still really confused. I kissed him anyway. It was my first kiss.
“I love you, Grace.” He said again
“You said that already.”
“I know, because I really… I love you, Grace.” He whispered slowly as if he didn’t know what else to say.
“Is there anything you want to tell me?”
I wanted to have some clue on what was happening. My head was still spinning from the kiss. He shook his head. I didn’t understand it at all. All I knew was that at that moment right there, I realized how much Jake truly loved me… Or so I thought.
Three
weeks later, Jake and I were closer than ever and probably the most in love
teenagers you would ever meet. I went to meet him during his last class. He was
chatting with some friends so I decided to stand outside the door and wait for
him.
“Tell us
the truth dude.” I heard his friend say.
“Okay, I lied to Grace. Obviously, I’m not a Christian but…”
I couldn’t wait for him to finish his words when I heard what he said. I ran as hard as I could down the hallway and out the doors. I needed to get away. My heart cracked and I didn’t even remember where I left the pieces. How could he do this to me? He said he loves me and I believed him. He said he wanted to be with me forever and I believed that too.
“Okay, I lied to Grace. Obviously, I’m not a Christian but…”
I couldn’t wait for him to finish his words when I heard what he said. I ran as hard as I could down the hallway and out the doors. I needed to get away. My heart cracked and I didn’t even remember where I left the pieces. How could he do this to me? He said he loves me and I believed him. He said he wanted to be with me forever and I believed that too.
I didn’t
know where I was or how long I was there but I knew that I never want to go
back to the classroom. I didn’t think I could stand it. How does someone deal
with that? I began to question my faith. Why, God? Why? I knew God wasn’t to
blame but that was the only way I could vent my frustrations. There was no one
left anymore. I felt left alone out in the cold. Jake didn’t leave me here but
he made it such a way that I could go anywhere but back home. It’s said that
the will of God will never take you where the grace of God won’t protect you.
Why would God bring him to me if he knew this would happen? I started to think
about what I had heard again. I broke down into tears once more.
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My Happy Ending Part 2
My Happy Ending Part 2
“Grace!
What in the world are you doing? It’s freezing cold and…”
Jake paused when he saw that I was crying.
“What’s wrong?”
“You can cut the act, I know now.”
I could tell he was about to ask another question again but I interrupted.
“You didn’t have to lie to me Jake. If you didn't like me, all you had to do was say so, but no! You had to put on this big act!”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I love you. I’ve told you that. You know that. You know I love you, Grace.”
How could he lie straight in my face!?
“Yeah you also mentioned something about being a Christian but I guess we can’t all tell the truth.”
“What do you mean by that?”
He knew exactly what I meant. I wasn’t the kind of person to be mean or rude about this even if he did lie to me. I just wanted him to leave.
“You know, you’re a good guy Jake, and I’m sure there is a pretty girl out there just waiting for you. Why don’t you go find her?”
That was the nicest way I could put it.
“I don’t have to because you’re right here.”
“Please go now.”
I was crying again.
“Don’t do this to me.” He begged.
He was crying too.
“I’m only doing this to protect what I believe in. Jake, I love you and I always will. Please don’t forget what we talked about, don’t lose what faith you gained while we were together. You betrayed me and I can’t deal with that. Please leave.”
I pleaded once again. I didn’t care what Jake did for the rest of his life. I just didn't want our breakup to affect the trust in God he had gained while we were together.
Jake paused when he saw that I was crying.
“What’s wrong?”
“You can cut the act, I know now.”
I could tell he was about to ask another question again but I interrupted.
“You didn’t have to lie to me Jake. If you didn't like me, all you had to do was say so, but no! You had to put on this big act!”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I love you. I’ve told you that. You know that. You know I love you, Grace.”
How could he lie straight in my face!?
“Yeah you also mentioned something about being a Christian but I guess we can’t all tell the truth.”
“What do you mean by that?”
He knew exactly what I meant. I wasn’t the kind of person to be mean or rude about this even if he did lie to me. I just wanted him to leave.
“You know, you’re a good guy Jake, and I’m sure there is a pretty girl out there just waiting for you. Why don’t you go find her?”
That was the nicest way I could put it.
“I don’t have to because you’re right here.”
“Please go now.”
I was crying again.
“Don’t do this to me.” He begged.
He was crying too.
“I’m only doing this to protect what I believe in. Jake, I love you and I always will. Please don’t forget what we talked about, don’t lose what faith you gained while we were together. You betrayed me and I can’t deal with that. Please leave.”
I pleaded once again. I didn’t care what Jake did for the rest of his life. I just didn't want our breakup to affect the trust in God he had gained while we were together.
He was
speechless and tears streamed down our faces. I had never seen him cry
previously. He usually wasn’t an emotional guy. I stood up and walked away. I
couldn’t stand to see him like that. He didn’t come after me. I guess it was a
good thing but it hurt too much to look back so I stared straight ahead and
walked into a whole new beginning; a world of loneliness.
- Two
Years Later -
I saw him
today, I didn't really know what to say but I knew the mature thing to do.
“Hey.” I said to him, smiling.
“Hi.” He replied blandly.
“How are you? It’s been so long.”
I realized how dumb that sounded after I said it. Of course it’s been so long. We wanted it to be this way.
“I’m uh…”
Someone called his name. I guess that was a relief for him.
“I got to go.”
“Okay, bye.”
That was it and then he was gone.
“Hey.” I said to him, smiling.
“Hi.” He replied blandly.
“How are you? It’s been so long.”
I realized how dumb that sounded after I said it. Of course it’s been so long. We wanted it to be this way.
“I’m uh…”
Someone called his name. I guess that was a relief for him.
“I got to go.”
“Okay, bye.”
That was it and then he was gone.
I
couldn't believe this. I couldn't believe that we could just walk right past each
other and not even acknowledge each other, or that we couldn't even look each
other in the eye because we are scared that the memories of heartaches and
lonesomeness will come flooding back. It’s unbelievable. I don’t know about him
but for me, those memories never left. It has been two years and I’m still
hurting. I’ve been on one date in the past two years and even then, I couldn’t
stop thinking about him. Sometimes I think it’s the stupidest thing I ever did;
breaking up with him. Back then everything inside me was telling me he had to
go but right now it’s as if I couldn’t tell how much longer I could go on
without him. This went on for months.
“Excuse
me Miss, I know that you don’t work here but do you happen to know where I can
find some band-aids?” A man said with a smile.
I hardly knew where anything is in the grocery store but I knew where the band-aids are due to my clumsiness. The guy was extremely handsome and polite. He reminded me so much of him...
“Yeah, sure. Right down that aisle.” I said as I pointed out the band-aid aisle.
He gave me another one of those familiar smiles and went on his way. I smiled back. As soon as he grabbed the band-aids, he came back up to me.
“I just wanted to say thank you. So um… Would you like to go out sometime you know, like on a date? Dinner and a movie?”
“A date? I don’t know uh…”
“Alex.”
I hardly knew where anything is in the grocery store but I knew where the band-aids are due to my clumsiness. The guy was extremely handsome and polite. He reminded me so much of him...
“Yeah, sure. Right down that aisle.” I said as I pointed out the band-aid aisle.
He gave me another one of those familiar smiles and went on his way. I smiled back. As soon as he grabbed the band-aids, he came back up to me.
“I just wanted to say thank you. So um… Would you like to go out sometime you know, like on a date? Dinner and a movie?”
“A date? I don’t know uh…”
“Alex.”
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My Happy Ending Part 3
My Happy Ending Part 3
“Yeah, I
don’t think a date is a good idea, Alex. Don’t get me wrong! You seem like a
really nice guy but I just got out of a long relationship and I just don’t
know.”
“Oh, when?”
“Oh, um… Around two years ago.”
He raised his eyebrow.
“I know that’s a long time but…”
“Don’t stress, I get it. He must have been pretty special. I know how that is but if you spend your life wallowing about the past, you’ll miss out on some great things in your future.
“Like Philippians 3:13 says ‘…forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before.’”
He began to make his way to the cashier.
“Wait!” I yelled to him.
“That verse?”
“What about it?”
“It’s from the bible.”
“Nothing gets by you.”
Wow, so he’s a Christian. As soon as I heard that, I got a feeling inside me just like the feeling I got when I was on my first date with Jake, except this time it was stronger.
“That’s really cool. Now about that date…”
This could be good and the best part was, I wasn’t even thinking about the loser who broke my heart.
“Oh, when?”
“Oh, um… Around two years ago.”
He raised his eyebrow.
“I know that’s a long time but…”
“Don’t stress, I get it. He must have been pretty special. I know how that is but if you spend your life wallowing about the past, you’ll miss out on some great things in your future.
“Like Philippians 3:13 says ‘…forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before.’”
He began to make his way to the cashier.
“Wait!” I yelled to him.
“That verse?”
“What about it?”
“It’s from the bible.”
“Nothing gets by you.”
Wow, so he’s a Christian. As soon as I heard that, I got a feeling inside me just like the feeling I got when I was on my first date with Jake, except this time it was stronger.
“That’s really cool. Now about that date…”
This could be good and the best part was, I wasn’t even thinking about the loser who broke my heart.
- Five
Years Later -
“Please
don’t do this to me, Alex. Please don’t go.”
The tears stung my eyes but I couldn’t even feel them. There was a darker, scarier feeling inside me that conquered every pain I had ever been through. As Alex was lying on the bed dying from the horrid disease, I couldn’t help thinking that God should take me too if he’s going to take Alex. I didn’t want to be in this world without him. We’ve been through so much together. We got married two years ago and we dated for three years before that. How could this happen? He is the greatest man I have ever met and he is so good to me and faithful to the Lord. The tears continued to roll down my eyes.
“I love you, Grace. You know how much I love you, right?”
I nodded my head. I moved my lips but the words just wouldn’t come out.
The tears stung my eyes but I couldn’t even feel them. There was a darker, scarier feeling inside me that conquered every pain I had ever been through. As Alex was lying on the bed dying from the horrid disease, I couldn’t help thinking that God should take me too if he’s going to take Alex. I didn’t want to be in this world without him. We’ve been through so much together. We got married two years ago and we dated for three years before that. How could this happen? He is the greatest man I have ever met and he is so good to me and faithful to the Lord. The tears continued to roll down my eyes.
“I love you, Grace. You know how much I love you, right?”
I nodded my head. I moved my lips but the words just wouldn’t come out.
I never
left that emergency room. The nurses brought my food with Alex’s even though he
was unconscious most the time. I never took my eyes off him except when I
slept. People came and went. They include family members, friends, friends of
friends and friends of family. It seemed to hit them all pretty hard as they
didn’t usually deal with this kind of pain. However, it’s different for me as I
had lost many loved ones in my lifetime though it was not all necessarily to
death. Sometimes I don’t understand why it happens but I know God has a
purpose. He always has and he always will. Nevertheless, this is something you
can never get used to and the pain never lessens. It’s always hard to let go
especially when you don’t expect it. It’s been three months since we got the
news about Alex. He will go anytime soon to a better place but I can’t bear to
watch him go. I cried more than I have ever cried in my life. I knew it is all
going to end in a matter of days, hours or maybe seconds. I held on to Alex
with all I had left, refusing to let him go. I couldn’t let go even if he did.
I planned on staying that way for as long as I could. I would have held on to
him forever if I could.
Alex died
the next day. There were more tears, more pain and more sleepless nights. I
tried to tell myself not to worry and to be happy for him but it was never
convincing. I used to think it was only hard when I was young and it would be
easier when I grew older but here I am still stuck in the same painful endless
cycle at aged twenty-five. I grieved for months and people thought I was in such
a deep depression that I would never be the old me again. They were right. I
was never the same after that but the weird thing was instead of losing hope
like most people do, I gained more faith than ever before. I don’t know why but
I realized that God is the only way out of this suffering. I thought about the
verse Alex had said when we first met five years ago in the grocery store. I
looked it up and read the whole thing.
“Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead.”
“Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead.”
That
verse was very special to me and it was actually the main reason why Alex and I
started dating. I missed him so much. Tears streamed down my face. I didn't think
I would have any left but I did. I was running out of food even though I barely
ate anymore so I went to the grocery store. I decided I would go to a different
grocery store from the one where it all began. I would go to the one close to
home, the one where it all ended.
“Grace!
Hey, thank God I ran into you. I heard about what happened, are you okay?”
Just when I thought things couldn’t get any worse, I ran into Jake. I mean it was nice of him to care but really, why him?
“Hey Jake.”
“I know I’m not the person you really want to see right now but please let me know if there’s anything I can do.”
“No, Jake, I-I’m fine, really.” I lied.
I wasn’t fine, especially after seeing him. He smiled and leaned in to hug me. I just went along with it.
“I know you probably hate me but I don’t care. I’m here for you Grace, always. You never left my mind since that day we broke up and I was out in the rain all alone. That was the worst day of my entire life.”
“You did that to yourself.”
I turned around and started to make my way towards the grocery store.
“I know I did but I’ve changed.”
I turned back around.
“I love you. I told you I will always love you. You were the best thing that ever happened to me.”
How did our conversation turn into this? Not this, not now. I just lost my husband for heaven’s sake. Why did he have to come along? As if he was any consolation.
“Jake what are you doing?” I asked as if I didn't already know.
“I want another chance.”
At this moment I knew what any sensible person would do; laugh in his face. However, despite what he did to me or how silly he sounded right now, he deserved my attention and so I gave it to him.
“Do you think you could do that? Do you think you could find it in you to forgive me? I know what you’re thinking but as soon as you left me I went to church. I got saved and I never wanted to leave. I don’t know why I didn't do it sooner; so much weight has been lifted from my shoulders.”
I smiled.
“That’s great and I'm happy for you. Nevertheless, I just lost someone very special to me and I'm not ready to get back out there yet. Not any time soon.”
Once again, I started walking towards the store.
“Please! Please Grace, please!” He yelled.
When I turned around I could have sworn I saw tears welling up in his eye but he didn’t let it fall.
“Just one more chance, I swear if I screw up this time I'll be out of your life forever. Please.”
“I can’t bear to be hurt again.”
“I won’t hurt you! I promise I'll never leave you or lie to you ever again if you just give it a try.”
The tear fell. He quickly wiped it away. It didn't matter because I had plenty of tears to match him; he had me crying by now.
“Come on, the man is begging. Just give him a chance or you might miss out on something great.” A passing-by customer said to me.
“Okay.” I told him and his face lit up.
He picked me up and swung me around holding me so close that I could barely breathe.
“I love you!”
He set me down and kissed me and it was then that I realized I never really stopped loving my first love.
Just when I thought things couldn’t get any worse, I ran into Jake. I mean it was nice of him to care but really, why him?
“Hey Jake.”
“I know I’m not the person you really want to see right now but please let me know if there’s anything I can do.”
“No, Jake, I-I’m fine, really.” I lied.
I wasn’t fine, especially after seeing him. He smiled and leaned in to hug me. I just went along with it.
“I know you probably hate me but I don’t care. I’m here for you Grace, always. You never left my mind since that day we broke up and I was out in the rain all alone. That was the worst day of my entire life.”
“You did that to yourself.”
I turned around and started to make my way towards the grocery store.
“I know I did but I’ve changed.”
I turned back around.
“I love you. I told you I will always love you. You were the best thing that ever happened to me.”
How did our conversation turn into this? Not this, not now. I just lost my husband for heaven’s sake. Why did he have to come along? As if he was any consolation.
“Jake what are you doing?” I asked as if I didn't already know.
“I want another chance.”
At this moment I knew what any sensible person would do; laugh in his face. However, despite what he did to me or how silly he sounded right now, he deserved my attention and so I gave it to him.
“Do you think you could do that? Do you think you could find it in you to forgive me? I know what you’re thinking but as soon as you left me I went to church. I got saved and I never wanted to leave. I don’t know why I didn't do it sooner; so much weight has been lifted from my shoulders.”
I smiled.
“That’s great and I'm happy for you. Nevertheless, I just lost someone very special to me and I'm not ready to get back out there yet. Not any time soon.”
Once again, I started walking towards the store.
“Please! Please Grace, please!” He yelled.
When I turned around I could have sworn I saw tears welling up in his eye but he didn’t let it fall.
“Just one more chance, I swear if I screw up this time I'll be out of your life forever. Please.”
“I can’t bear to be hurt again.”
“I won’t hurt you! I promise I'll never leave you or lie to you ever again if you just give it a try.”
The tear fell. He quickly wiped it away. It didn't matter because I had plenty of tears to match him; he had me crying by now.
“Come on, the man is begging. Just give him a chance or you might miss out on something great.” A passing-by customer said to me.
“Okay.” I told him and his face lit up.
He picked me up and swung me around holding me so close that I could barely breathe.
“I love you!”
He set me down and kissed me and it was then that I realized I never really stopped loving my first love.
- Ten
Years Later -
“Jamie,
Sarah, its time for dinner! Come sit down.”
I love dinner time. It’s so old fashioned but who doesn’t love the chance to talk to your family. I love my family, I love Jake and I love my baby girls. The girls are now three and a half years old and are extremely smart. They get that from Jake. He has always been a smart guy.
“Ok, who wants broccoli!” He said.
They all said, “Eww…”
They hated it but which kid doesn't.
I love dinner time. It’s so old fashioned but who doesn’t love the chance to talk to your family. I love my family, I love Jake and I love my baby girls. The girls are now three and a half years old and are extremely smart. They get that from Jake. He has always been a smart guy.
“Ok, who wants broccoli!” He said.
They all said, “Eww…”
They hated it but which kid doesn't.
That
night Jake and I lay in bed talking. We talked about everything from our past.
You would think after all the time we had been together we would have talked
about everything already. However, it would take longer than a lifetime to
explain all the feelings and emotions we had ever felt. Then we got onto a
painful subject I was praying with all my might that we would stay away from;
death. I hated the subject but I loved the fact that if it was ever on my mind
I could talk to Jake about it. However, we never talked about Alex. Jake knew
better than to bring him up. I missed Alex a lot. I still can't believe he's
gone but I'm happy with Jake and I think Alex would be happy for me too. I
thought my life was over when Alex died but that’s what I thought when I first left
Jake too. It seems that every time something good in my life falls apart, it’s
because something better can fall together. God really does work in mysterious
ways.
By
brittany
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